Inside

i’ve never known who i really am nor while i ever truly know
i see other people passing by me
living their lives in our crowded world
there are millions of us
yet there is one of us
nobody cares
nobody listens
all they do is walk on and talk on

young couples holding hands
i blink my eye and they are apart
i see old couples married and happy
i blink my eyes to see them smile
why do we torment ourselves for these short bursts of “happiness”
when all it leads to is pain

i see her walking by
dragged along by another guy
she never sees me
in my corner
crying and crying
i think i see a glance
but its only a look to my fake image

i see other people come to me
for me to lend my ears to their woes
we all are lonely
our lives are wrecks
and people are evil

peoples feelings and stories run constantly through my head
repeating over and over

for others i am their healer
but to me there is no one
nobody cares to listen to me
or to hear my thoughts
instead i see those people walking past
while i sit in my corner crying and crying

i help all
i heal all
i hope for all
but all does not include me
for in their eyes i am nothing
i am just here and there
a little thing to talk to only when they need help
when they can’t talk to their “friends” because they wouldn’t listen

my ears sting with the evil that spills from peoples mouths
my heart throbs with the grief life hands to me
my eyes burn as everyone walks by
my eyes burn as she walks by
being pulled along by another guy

i sometimes wonder who i am
who i was
who i will be
i sometimes wonder if anyone will ever listen to me
i sometimes wonder if anyone cares
or if its all a game
a great game playing me as a pawn

to feel noticed is a gift to me
a rare gift
because inside i want to be loved
i want to be listened to
because inside i need someone
i need her...

“perhaps the most difficult choices to make are the ones that deny us the things our hearts yearn for
because as it’s been said "without reason nor prudence the heart wants what the heart wants,
and more often than not it will not be denied"”